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Git Gud: A How-To Guide

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If you don't like sitting in the back of the bus, finishing last and having soggy pancakes for breakfast than you have to GIT GUD.

Gitting Gud isn't easy, but with these shortcuts any player can Git Gud fast. With my Git Gud Tipz, new players will be transformed in days from scrawny n00b scraps to Champs that Gitted Gud.

Gangsta fox

Pull up a seat my scrawny brotha and take these tips one Killa to anotha


Git Gud Tipz Tip #1: You have six knights. Five of them only use one element. But wait! Most armors come in two elements, so you can take your super-awesome mega-powerful level 30 Monk's Vestments and wear it on your earth & spirit knight. One armor, two knights! Think of your knights as soggy wet bags of meat, just rarin' to get their faces punched in and bruised up by dem' dastardly skeletons in SKELETAL TOMB. Let's say you have an awesome armor for a certain stage, so awesome it clears almost the entire stage by itself! Do it again with whichever knight is the 2nd element, and a third time with your commander! THAT'S HOW 2 GIT GUD SCRUB

Git Gud Tipz Tip #2: In addition to more health, attack and defense, leveling up helps you beat more stages so you can progress through the Magical Land of Gree. Leveling up also helps beat the epic boss. Did you know Champs that Gitted Gud can beat the epic boss 15 times without hiring friends? They can because they Gitted Gud and leveled up. So keep leveling up, n00b! More health means you can take more hits! I'm so GUD, the spooky skeletons and ghastly ghosts in SKELETAL TOMB only hit my knights for 1! #GET REKT

Git Gud Tipz Tip #3: Arena gives out more rewards than your ex-girlfriend flirted with strangers [protip: a lot], so get in there! Don't be scared, you won't lose! Really! You won't! Arena looks for matches similar or lesser in level. So you will only go up against people as good or worse than yourself. One in a while the occasional GEM BUYER will ruin ya' day, but for the most part sub-level-40 it's maxed out seafoam armor and lvl 1 monk's vestments as far as the eye can see! All you need to do to win @ arena is put 3 1-star armors on your knights. E Z P Z.

Git Gud Tipz Tip #4: Arena gives insane gold rewards just for clearing the first few tiers. SO CLEAR 'EM! It also gives tons of armors which you can use to enhance your armor, so you can win more, you dumb-head

Git Gud Tipz Tip #5: If your first knight in your lineup is fire / water, then you second knight should be neither fire nor water. Think of it this way: if you go into a fight and your opponent's first knight 1-shots yours because he had the elemental advantage, it'd be pretty bad if your second knight ALSO had the same elemental weakness. If you have Hydra's Mail+ (one of the Big Git Gud 4), then it loses to wind and water. Wind loses to earth and water loses to wind; that's crius armor! So put a knight with crius armor behind your knight with hydra's mail. THAT'S HOW YOU GIT GUD NOW SHUT UP YOU DUMB LITTLE SH*T

Git Gud Tipz Tip #6: Level up armors with basic common armors to about 5, then with uncommon armors to about level 15, and from there use rares. If the armor being leveled up is water or earth, use Cheapskin Winner Strips because they give 24 EP for only 3000 gold and 1 enhancement slot. HIGH LEVEL ARMORS = HIGH LEVEL ENEMY MAD

Git Gud Tipz Tip #7: PARTICIPATE IN GUILD WAR BATTLES! It's like arena; the game's just HANDING GOODIES AWAY to any RETARD who can click FIGHT! It doesn't matter if the enemy guild has one guy who's in full epics, one-shotting everything your guild can offer, if your guild has TWO IDIOTS who can just beat enemy weakling commanders, because two people fighting will get more points than one enemy. AND THAT'S HOW YOU GIT GUD @ GUILD WAHS

Git Gud Tipz Tip #8: Don't spend your gems. Save them. Buy level 3 training fields. That's what gems are for. If you save your gems and don't squander them on 30 energy packs like I did, you'll have a castle full of golden dragons that sh*t gold [Figure a]

Screenshot 2014-01-19-16-29-05

GOLD DRAGONS MAKIN' GOLD WAGONS

Git Gud Tipz Tip #9: Get a stopwatch app. Every time you win an arena match, set the stopwatch for eight minutes. Rinse, repeat, gemless 9 win streak.

Git Gud Tipz Tip #10: Kill your friends, every day. Murdering a friend gives 20 arena points; assassinate five friends for 100. If you really wanna GIT GUD then get over 100 friends so you can earn 100 * 20 = 2000 points for smacking the sh*t our of your chums once a day 
Screenshot 2014-01-19-16-39-35

Celebrity Cameo by BossShip

[Figure b]

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